Life Events & Reed Bingham (SP) 12/16/25 - 12/19/25 (#28)

My 93 year FIL (an invalid in a wheelchair since 2019) & 90 year old MIL lived independently in a Retirement Community in FL. Neither of them have any dementia ... AT ALL. His at home medical care consisted of 8 hrs a day/ 7 days a week. But, that left many hours for my MIL to fill. And, at 90, she was not in any shape to be cooking & caring for him.They had tried meal services, extra night time care, etc. & none of that worked out.  In reality, he should have moved to a Nursing Home after his accident. But, MIL was able to assist better in the beginning. She is worn out & can't do what she used to do, just a few short years ago.

In September, they decided it was finally time for them to move to an Assisted Living Facility (ALF). About a year ago, knowing that this day would eventually come, we had toured several facilities in GA & FL & shared with them our findings. They eventually selected one just a few miles from their existing Retirement Community in FL. We went back & forth from GA --> FL, several times to help them get ready for the move. 

We got them moved in on October 6th. It didn't go well. They had a different idea of what assisted living was, than reality. He re-hired his old daytime CNA to do the things he needed/wanted done .... his way. He was fine for a little bit. Then he started feeling bad & refused to get out of bed. By the end of the 2nd week he had to be hospitalized. During the hospital stay, it was suggested that he be put on Hospice Care from home. He begrudginly agreed & was released. 

Hospice started coming in once a week but FIL would never be honest about how he was feeling. All his vitals continued to be good so they were just giving palative care & medications when necessary.

After the day care CNA left each day, instead of using his call button to ask for whatever assistance he needed, he continued asking & relying on my MIL to help him. She would do what she could (& shouldn't have been doing) & would only call for assistance if it was something way beyond her capacity. 

In the middle of November, while looking for something for my FIL, my MIL fell & fractured her tailbone. She was hospitalized for several days & had to go to re-hab for three weeks. During this time my FIL had no choice but to use his call button after hours. He went into a depression & refused to eat or drink many days during her absense. Note: His depression consisted of anger & he would lash out at anyone who would walk through the door (us, Hospice, friends, ALF staff, etc.). 

MIL was finally released but was given strict instructions to use her walker & NOT do anything that would risk her falling again. FIL continued to ask her to do stuff for him as if she could just carry on as usual. She started using the call button more & that made him upset.

We had been travelling from GA --> weekly since November. 1) To visit with them, handle hospitals, Drs., rehabbers, etc. & 2) During our visits, we started getting their house ready for sale.

We decided that we needed a break & since we had not been camping since the drive home with the new RV. We decided to go to Reed Bingham State Park (site #29), a little less than 10 miles from our GA house. It was a welcome reprieve for a few days.

We spent the next week getting ready for Christmas & heading back to FL. Our custom has always been to celebrate Christmas Eve with Greg's family & Christmas Day with mine. Always come home Christmas night.

We drove down on Christmas Eve & had dinner with them. We got take-out from one of their (& our) favorite shrimp restaurants. FIL wasn't feeling well but he had a few bites to eat & thanked us for coming. We decided to swing by, on our way out on Christmas morning. FIL was very agitated & the CNA said she had called Hospice to come in & see if they could give him something to calm him. We said our goodbyes & headed to my Niece's house, about 1.5 hours away. 

About an hour after arriving at my Niece's, we got a call that he had passed. We headed back to FL & dealt with all that had to be done immediately.

The next day we spoke with the funeral home & they were able to have the funeral on the 28th of December. The funeral was to be held in GA (4 hours from Jax & also 4 hours from our home in another part of GA). We then drove home to get clothes & headed back to FL so we could take MIL to the funeral. Funeral went well & more people showed up than expected - around 75. When you live to be that age, there isn't a whole lot of family or friends left. We stayed a couple of days afterwards & made sure MIL was ok ..... she was. 

Don't know if I've ever mentioned it or not. Greg is the only living child. His sister died in 2019. Her husband died in 2024. We don't have children & his sister only had an adopted daughter. She had a falling out with MIL/FIL many years ago & is no longer in the picture.

So, we were worried about her not having anyone around. We told her she could come live with us or into one of the assisted living facilities near us. She thought about it for a few weeks & finally decided to move to a facility about 30 minutes from our house. It is a family run business that a great grandfather built in 1978, on their 400+ acre farm. It's now run by the fourth generation.

As if we didn't have enough on our plate .... I was doing laundry on January 6th. As I came out of the laundry room a puppy came running up. About the same size & coloring as Coco. Tried to find her owners but knew that she had been dumped. Tried to find her a home to no avail. So, we now have a new family member. Here's a pic of both of them with our Great Niece. Benita (aka Bennie) on the left.

We moved MIL on January 19th & she is doing very well. She still has good & bad days. Mostly, she is having a hard time adjusting to not having somone to care for/worry about. But, she's made new friends & has gone on several outings with them, mostly to restaurants ... really good restaurants. We visit often, take her shopping and/or out to lunch & have brought her to our house to spend the day a few times.

Meanwhile, we are still going back & forth to FL. We had to move the furniture they had taken with them, back to the prior house. We went through & got anything she wanted to keep as well as what we wanted. We hired an Estate Sale company & had the sale a couple of weeks ago. We have now turned it over to a realtor to make any repairs & get it on the market, hopefully by the end of the month. 

Hopefully, we'll be able to slow down moving forward. We are going to squeeze in another camping trip next week & will try to post right afterwards. First camping trip with two dogs ....

2020 Update

No post from me in 2020. Don't want to re-hash that year but I do want to document/update from when I last posted in 12/2019. Sorry it's a long one, that's what happens when you only update once a year (that's going to change this year though!)

My last line from that post ...

"And here's to hoping that 2020 will be better than 2019."

Little did I know what would happen. Things were okay for us on a personal level. I had a new reason not to go shopping (I don't like to shop), I already had in stock, many of the things that got bought up, so didn't have to go out & about any more than I needed to. And, I actually enjoy staying home, so I did, for the most part.

Greg's business was condered essential, why, I don't know. He sells & services commercial lawn equipment. Don't ask me why the government thought that it would be essential to keep lawns manicured. He stayed open & thank goodness, no medical casualties for him, his employees or many of his customers. Unlike many others, his business actually thrived & on the financial front we were ok. He actually never opened on weekends during the summer like he would have in years past, so that gave us more free time than normal for that time of the year.

We came & went to the country house every other weekend & maintained distances. Not hard to do up there. A couple of weddings were cancelled & funerals were kept to graveside services. Speaking of funerals, one was an elderly aunt w/renal failure & the other a younger relative (Mom's side of the family) that had gotten in an accident & died from complications later. The medical authorities tried to classify both as Covid even though they weren't. I was told that the hospitals receive extra "pandemic" dollars if they were classified as such. Not right, in my opinion, but gotta keep those numbers up in order to keep the money coming in.

My sister, a hairdresser, did develop Covid but thank goodness it was a mild case & she recovered. She actually got it from a customer who also recovered & no other customers got it. She & her husband quarantined & she did what the Dr. told her & she's now fine, just a bit of lingering tiredness. My niece who is an RN in a hospital has been unaffected thus far. She actually changed jobs to work in the surgery ward so that keeps her away from the 'general' patients.

My brother-in-law drives a truck for a grocery chain & niece's husband works for a HVAC/Fire Security company & both their jobs were essential. So the family fared ok as well.

My FIL was still in LTC w/MIL staying w/him. She actually got clearance to stay & come & go like an Employee. I believe this was due to the fact that she did many of the things for FIL, like getting his teeth & hair brushed, face washed, etc. that freed up the nursing staff to spend that time with other patients.

However, FIL kicked her out of the facility in April, due to his worrying about Covid spreading in so many LTC facilities. She didn't like it but home she went, to the new house that she had never stayed in. Rough situation for her but we felt it was also the right decision. I went to the store & got her stocked up on essentials that could last her for a couple of months, so she wouldn't have to go out & about. 

In the meantime, we were already working on getting FIL out of the facility. That took the next couple of months, getting everything ready ... daily medical care, supplies, wheelchair, hoyer lift, etc.

He came home in June of 2020. Rough couple of months. But, by around Sept., they had found the right care giver (after going through 5 or 6 (FIL isn't the easiest person to get along with)). She is actually helping him more than any of the staff at the facility & he has improved a great deal. Even w/o the use of his left arm he can assist in getting in & out of bed w/o a lift & can stand/walk/shuffle with assistance. He still needs help with personal care & therapy but it's a whole lot better than it was June, July & August.

MIL continues to decline. Like FIL, her mind is all there but her movements, hearing, eyesight, etc. is rapidly declining. Much of it is due to the stress/demands that FIL puts on her. They've been married 65 years & he's pretty much always been like that. Nothing we can do to change that.

In the midst of everything, Greg was in the process of trying to complete the sell of his business. It got delayed several times over the summer & we were beginning to think that it never would happen. But .....

HE CLOSED THE SALE ON 12/31/20!!!!!!

He has to train the new owners for 30 days & after that he will be fully RETIRED on 2/13/21. It will most likely be quite the adjustment for us(me) but I think we are up to the challenge.

In preparation for full retirement (for us both) we purchased a 25' camper to do a little bit of travel for the next couple of years. We haven't been on a real vacation since 2011 & with Nelly (our pup), we figured it would be easier.

This is where I will document those travels so that's why I will hopefully be posting much more this year.

Whew, I'm done for now. Bring on 2021!

2019 - Not a good year

Last posted in February. Planted pecan trees & was looking forward to being able to spend the spring in GA. That didn't happen. Here's a recount of the last 10 months.

On March 3rd my 89 year old FIL fell while working in the yard. He suffered a spinal cord injury. It didn't sever but it was bruised, still very serious. He underwent surgery to stabilize the spinal cord so he would have no further damage. He has had several major surgeries over the years & has a very long recovery from anesthesia. This time was no exception.

He spent 6 weeks in ICU, lost a boat load of muscle mass which made (& continues to make) rehabilitation difficult. Then moved to a very intense Rehab hospital that specializes in spinal cord injuries. He spent 6 weeks there but he wasn't in the best frame of mind & didn't cooperate fully so didn't get the full advantage they had to offer. Plus, there were a few medical setbacks he endured as well. He was then moved to a regular rehab facility where he spent 4 months hoping to get well enough to go home. But, therapy was not intensive enough to help & he just kept getting weaker. He has now been moved to a LTC area of the same facility.

He can move his legs but can't stand, he has no use of his left arm or hand. He can move his right hand & can brush his teeth (if you put the brush in his hand) & can somewhat feed himself, if the plate/bowl is placed just right. You have to have 2 people (therapist) lift him using a Hoyer lift in order to get him out of bed into a wheel chair. He isn't able to assist, so he's basically dead weight when moving from one spot to the other.

He was working in the yard in preparation to sell their current home, because they were in the midst of buying a home in a retirement community. MIL decided to go ahead with purchase since the new house was equipped to handle a handicap situation. Greg & I basically remodeled the new house (new kitchen, new flooring, painted, etc.) in anticipation that he would eventually be able to come home. All is done except the bathrooms.

In the meantime, still hoping he would be released, we packed up their current home & moved 85 year old MIL into the new house (figuratively speaking since she isn't living there. Instead she is staying at the LTC facility, sleeping on a cot). She goes there to do laundry once or twice a week.

It gets worse ... My SIL came down from Atlanta several times to help pack up 35+ years of their 'stuff'. During this time, she discovered she had a leaking heart valve. In September she decided to go ahead & have surgery to repair. She had been home about 3 weeks & wasn't progressing as fast as all had hoped. On Oct. 20th she started having trouble breathing & before they could get her to the hospital she developed a blood clot & died. She was 61.

Her funeral was in S. GA & FIL was determined to attend the funeral. We arranged medical transport for him to get to there. It was a lovely but very sad service. FIL spoke from his wheelchair about how much he loved his daughter & wished it was him instead of her.

FIL still thinks he will go home even though he can't lift his head, roll over in bed or sit on his own, much less stand. He has to be lifted by staff to a wheelchair & back to bed after only a few hours. He has run out of Medicare to pay for therapy & refuses to private pay. He thinks that he can do the exercises on his own... he can't. We have filed for Medicaid in order to help defer living costs.

We made it through Thanksgiving. BIL came down & we got medical transport for FIL to come to the new house for dinner. We thought that might be incentive for him to start paying for therapy in hopes that he could eventually go home. But he is still insisting he can get better on his own.

He has weights & balls & bands to use to try to keep his strength in his right hand. MIL tries to help him each day but he isn't working as hard/long without therapy as he thinks he is. He really wants to stand & walk again (that's a good goal) but we keep telling him that he has to be able to roll over, sit & be able to pivot to a chair, basically on his own first. It just isn't sinking in.

The good news ... his vitals are all good & his mind is sharp as a tack.

The bad news ... his mind is sharp as a tack. He is very insistent with each idea that comes to mind. His latest ... bring sit down bicycle from home, to the facility. He thinks a CNA can get him from bed to bicycle & he can do his own exercises. The problems ... 1.) CNA's aren't qualified to transfer him to any sort of exercise equipment, only therapists can do that & guess what, he isn't willing to pay for them to do anything.  2.) The facility isn't going to allow him to bring his own equipment from home. In the meantime, he is getting more frail each time we visit.

Of course, the once healthy MIL is beginning to have issues of her own so we're keeping a close eye on her.

Just taking it day by day. We are planning on going to the country this weekend then come back to spend Christmas Eve with the in-laws & then Christmas Day with my family & then back to GA for a few more days. We have several projects that we began at the end of 2018 that we hope to finish or at least make some progress on.

Hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas & Happy New Year. And here's to hoping that 2020 will be better than 2019.

February 2018 - Lots going on.

Last week I went to my annual Featherweight quilt retreat in SC & got 2 quilt tops done. I used the same pattern but different fabrics. The blue one is for my 87 year old FIL who is recovering from having his hip removed but is finally home from re-hab. Hopefully we'll soon find out if they will be able to put in another hip. I finished it this morning & will gift it to him this afternoon. 

The earth tone one is for me! My friend Jenny found the fabric for me & the squares are made using the 4 patch posey technique. The lines inside are more green than grey. I hope to finish it before fall of next year!

When I got home from SC I went to an Estate Sale that had an original Featherweight table for sale. It is only 31" x 31" & is portable & was reasonably priced. The top is all wood & the metal hardware to hold the machine is very sturdy. I think it's very cute & will keep the FW off my dining table, making room to lay out more quilting projects.

And, here is a picture of the T-shirt my Greg got me for Valentines Day.

I forgot to mention in my last couple of posts that my niece got engaged, to a really great guy, in early December.

It was a complete surprise as you can see by the photo. No, it wasn't staged. Her BFF (who knew about the engagement) was taking pictures of their group at a plantation they were visiting for the day. She had been taking 'artsy type' photos all morning. She had asked these 2  to stand back to back & take 2 steps before turning partially around. Of course the soon to be groom kneeled instead of taking the steps. The wedding is in November & the planning has begun. We went Wedding dress shopping last Sunday & she found exactly what she wanted. She will be such a beautiful bride.

Hope everyone is having a good week. We have a few house & land projects going that I hope to post about soon.