Cookies, Gates & Snake(s)!

Hope everyone had a great end to 2015. Can't believe this was the 3rd Christmas w/o my sweet niece Brooke. Everyone is moving forward with their lives but it will never be the same. As the saying goes - Life does indeed go on.

I've almost always made cookies to share at Christmas time. I used to take loads & loads to work to place at each coffee station or in each Department. One year we made over 1000! Since I don't work anymore I still found that I wanted to bake the week before Christmas. This was my haul this last year.

Peppermint Bark (new)

Pineapple/Coconut Cheesecake Bars (new) & Lemon Squares

Oatmeal, Sugar, Coconut Meringues & Flourless Chocolate (new)

I had success & failures this year.

Only half of the pan of My Lemon Squares baked. Weird, one end was done & the other completely not done.

It was very humid the day I made the Meringues & they had a hard time drying (usually on a 175 degree setting). I eventually just turned the oven off & left the majority in it to see if they would dry by the morning. I neglected to tell Greg that I had left them in only to come back in the kitchen a while later to him heating the oven (at 350 degrees) for our dinner. We saved most but some were waaaay brown. They are supposed to be just a very light tan.

I always try a couple of new recipes. This year was:

1. Pineapple Cheesecake Bars - good.

2. Peppermint Bark which also was good but way too thick.

3. Flourless Chocolate which turned out ok. I always give a big batch of cookies to a good friend of mine for her large family. She has a daughter with Lime disease & she's trying a gluten free diet to see if that helps w/her symptoms. I wanted her to have something to eat besides bark & meringues so I tried the Flourless chocolate. The first batch (w/o nuts) weren't even close to being done in the time frame the recipe called for so I stuck them back in for 5 more minutes (after sitting out for about 5). They were flat as a flitter but melt in your mouth light & airy. The 2nd batch (1/nuts) rose & cooked just fine but not near as light as the other ones. Hopefully I can reproduce my mistake next year.

I also decided to make homemade Cinnamon Rolls for a select few families to bake on Christmas Morning. I made the icing & gave in a mason jar for them to ice immediately after taking from the oven.

Ready to rise & bake

We celebrated with my family on Christmas Day & then headed to the Country. Note: I only have my Tablet when we are in the Country & I can read blogs & email but have trouble commenting.

We always have some project or another to do since we have the entire week between Christmas & New Years. We were originally going to work on the Garden Shed since it's been in place since Nov. 2013 & still not finished. But since the ground was fairly dry we decided to go ahead & extend our gate instead. We put the poles in the ground on the 27th & came back the next day to add the boards.

Before extensions

After extensions

*** WARNING - If you don't like pics of snakes don't scroll down past this point ***

When I walked out to the edge of the driveway, by the ditch & road to take the above pic, I noticed movement on the ground to my right. It was a small King snake that I thought was shedding it's skin. I ran to get the camera & when I came back I realized it wasn't shedding it's skin .... IT WAS EATING ANOTHER SNAKE! Hopefully a poisonous one! Hubby thought it might have been a Water Moccosin.

Didn't see the head or how much had been eaten already but the eaten snake had to have been almost as long as the King.

Close up.

About 10 minutes later - making progress.

More progress .... that tail was still moving --- ewww!

All done!

You can't tell from the above pic but the tail was sticking out the side of his/her neck & was still moving!

Slithering away ... About 3 foot long

We figured he/she had caught it in the ditch & drug it up to consume. It definitely wasn't there when we started on the gate boards. Gotta love the wildlife. Makes me remember to watch where I'm stepping at all times up there!

It's been one year.

And I still miss her so much.

What God took from us. Will we ever know what he gave back? I still have hope & dreams for all those to follow but I crave the forgotten memories of those gone.

Christmas in February

Got a call from my sister last week, asking if we were going to the Country over the weekend. If so, they (her, my BIL & 16 year old niece) would like to come up and celebrate Christmas. They haven't done anything much for the past 6 weeks & thought the change of scenery would be nice. Our Dad & his wife would be at the Country as well. Their place is across the pond from ours.

Pole Tree w/moon Circa 2007 at the Country House

Greg had already committed to moving the 2nd 1/2 of his parent's porch to the Country. So, the in-laws would be in 'town' as well. He left with them to their 'other' property on Saturday morning.

I finished wrapping presents, loaded my vehicle & drove up on Friday afternoon. I had to get there ahead of time, as I haven't dusted in forever. Which actually was a blessing in disguise as there had been a terrible wind storm during the week. No matter how sealed your house is, when the wind is blowing & the farmers are harrowing & people are driving up & down the dirt road, dust & grit gets in and settles. It only took me about an hour to do a somewhat thorough job (it's a small house <1300 sq. ft.). I took a suggestion I had read about recently & used damp micro fiber towels (we have a boatload of them) on the swiffer for the floors. It did a great job. I also got the sheets washed & the beds made up & then ate a salad.

They arrived around 7:00p, after stopping at my Dad's, they got to our house around 8:30a. We just sat & talked a bit before retiring early.

I got up Saturday morning & made Pecan Pie Muffins. Everyone else got up & we just sat around and drank coffee, checked email, facebook, etc. We talked while the television made noise in the background. They are very melancholy & stoic & as we talked Brooke's stories intermingled with ours. One item we were discussing is coffee. Everyone that comes & stays at our Country House just raves about the coffee & my BIL is no exception. They all say, what kind is it? & where can I find it?! I always answer .... Maxwell House Lite / the grocery store. I don't know why it tastes so good there, but it does.

Everyone went to town except me. I stayed home & made soup & a couple of loaves of bread & puppy sat with my Sister's cutest toy poodle, Lexie. She is a very sweet dog & we had a wonderful afternoon waiting.

Once everyone got home we put on a low country boil & had a fine time over dinner. We then opened presents & sat around & talked some more.

Talking about Brooke throughout the morning, afternoon & evening came so natural to us all. I am especially proud that her Mom, Dad & Sister feel so comfortable talking about her. All the Pandora charms that I had bought Brooke are now displayed on my Sister's bracelet, as they should be. It was all so comfortable & natural. We ALL miss her but know that nothing we do can bring her back so we must just celebrate her life & memories that each of us had with her & just keep remembering our moments with her.

Since Greg & I had driven separately, I took the long way home Sunday & stopped at Brooke's resting place. Yes, I cried, just as I do every night & most times when I am driving alone (very dangerous as my eyes get very blurry), but it's what I am now conditioned to do & I feel better each time I do it.

Her gravesite had been cleaned of all the flower arrangements & only held a couple of mementos, until her headstone is ordered. I wanted it to all be a bit neater, but will wait until my sister moves forward to keep it as I know Brooke would want it.

It's quiet, out of the way & peaceful there. Like I said before, her resting place is not where she is, but where I can go to reflect on her life & my short time with her. I will never stop missing her but she would want us all to move on & just keep thinking about her.

I doubt Christmas will ever be the same again but that's okay. Presents are not what it's about, it's just nice to spend time & just be, with those I love.

Brooke

Many years ago, Greg & I decided not to have children. This was a disappointment to my parents (& his) but we were just too busy & made the conscience decision to not have children ourselves.

But my sister did (she's 10 years my junior) .... thank goodness, she took all our pressure away! I remember the day she called me to tell me I was going to be an Aunt. It was late & I was still at the office with only a few people around. Once she gave me the news, I just started squealing (like a happy girl)! The few left on my floor came running but were relieved to find that I was screaming from happiness. I . was . going . to . be . an . Aunt!

The birth, the coming Christmases & Birthdays were wonderful. My sister & BIL always brought her to our house 2 days before Thanksgiving & we babysat & would do projects that she loved, & return her on Thanksgiving Day. Her sister came along 4 years later & both of them came to our house for this 'ritual' year after year.

I think this my favorite all time picture of her as a child.

My 2nd all time favorite. Uncle making her laugh. Getting ready for a parade.

The family.

She was so sure of herself!

Cooking crab legs w/Uncle

We also spent several New Year's Eve with those 2, as my Dad's side of the family always had their family reunion around that time & they would always sleep at our house.

She was insistent on driving at that age.

Then she let her sister drive.

At 6, Brooke insisted she was going to be a nurse when she grew up. I also 'mentioned' that I would take her wherever she wanted to go (within the continental United States) when she turned 16. She announced then, that she wanted to go to NY.

10 years later, 6 months before her 16th birthday, she reminded me of my promise. We agreed on a date & I immediately made reservations for flights & hotels, telling her that she had to find restaurants & other things to do. She did & I made arrangements for it all. We went to NY in 2008 & saw  a couple of plays, bought purses in China Town, ate at wonderful restaurants & shopped to her heart's content. We did all that she wanted, Statue of Liberty, Central Park, Macy's, Greenwich Village, Little Italy, etc.

She was so glad to have seen Lady Liberty!

The last day we were there we stumbled upon a street market. It was windy & rainy & we came upon a vendor at a street market from Venice selling glass jewelry. He looked at her & told  her that she was "just lovely". She gushed about that. No one had ever described her as 'lovely'. Lots of people told her how beautiful, smart, sweet, nice, kind, etc. But, never 'lovely'. She loved that term. I will always cherice the necklace from that day.

She graduated in 2010, as class president.

After graduation, she started planning her wedding & began nursing school & started a job at one of the local hospitals.

At her job, all the full-time nurses wanted her to work with them & all the patients wanted to take her home with them. I know this because my Dad's wife has worked at that same hospital, as a nurse, for over 20 years & was told this same thing about her, over & over again.

She had met her future husband at 15 years years of age, the year before we went to NY. At one point in NY, I asked her if she shouldn't broaden her range & make sure he was THE one. She explained to me, her silly Aunt, that she had made up her mind & that was that. She loved him & his sister & parents & that made all the difference in the world. They loved her & she could tell, just as I knew with Uncle Greg, that it was the right choice. I agreed with her & let it go.

At 20 she got married. She was a beautiful bride, with nothing but love & excitement in her heart for the future.

In the next picture she isn't posing for the camera at all, just looking at the person she loved so much, & knowing that he loved her the same. Oh how happy she was on that day!

On Saturday night the 15th of December they had celebrated Christmas with her husband's Grandmother. It was such a beautiful night, they decided to ride the dirt roads on their ATVs. At one point, her husband missed the turn onto another road, hit the brakes & turned a hard right. Brooke wasn't expecting the sudden stop & hit her on head on what we think was the roll bar of the Ranger she was riding in.

It was just a terrible accident. The next 3 days were a bit of a blur, visitors stopping by to give hugs & bring food. Then the families having to make the funeral arrangements, the viewing & then the funeral itself.

There were 800 people that attended the viewing. Along with my Sister & BIL & Brooke's husband & his family, my 16 year old niece stood there & greeted every.single.one of those people. The funeral was the next day with about 500 or so in attendance. It just proved to all of us, how much people loved & respected her.

Just a note on the funeral ... I had written before, about southern traditions & that people, no matter where they are headed or how big of a hurry they are in the pull to the side of the road to pay their respects to friends & family when they come upon a funeral procession. I noticed 2 such occurrences during Brooke's procession.

The 1st was the county Sheriff at the first turn just past the church. He was in a suit & tie, instead of his usual uniform, as he had attended the service as a family friend. Even though he wasn't on duty & could have let another officer do that 1st turn, he stepped in & stopped traffic on a US highway to let those in mourning pass, as HIS show of respect.

Along the route various drivers we met along the way stopped to pay their respects ... cement & dump truck drivers, mothers & fathers on their way home, school buses full of children, etc.

But what caught our eye was one young man in particular.

After driving along the US highway for a couple of miles, we turned onto 'the back roads' heading to the cemetery where Brooke was to be laid to rest. We passed a neighborhood that contains houses on 5 - 10 acre lots. Most have swing sets, some have gardens, some animals, etc. Along the way, at the end of one of these driveways by the road, sat a boy 8 - 10 years on his go-cart.

He had stopped riding & shut off his 'vehicle', standing w/his hand over his heart, watching us, until we passed. It was truly touching that this child, without his parents immediate direction, knew to do what he did. It made me cry all the harder, but made me believe that there is hope in our future generation!

The following pictures were taken last December (2011), by Brooke's best friend, as a gift to my sister. These are just 2 of the loveliest photos I have to look back on.

Brooke on the left.

Brooke on the right.

Her sister is again quoting silly things on FB, along with scripture, which makes me feel that she will go on with her life, as it should be.

I miss Brooke with my whole being, but I do know that she is in heaven awaiting all of us. She was called to heaven the day after that horrible CT/Sandy Hook massacre. Maybe she was needed to help take care of those precious children? It's definitely what she was called to do... help others.

We stopped by the grave site on our way home the other day. We won't be going there to 'visit' her because she isn't there. It will only be a place to reflect on her life on occasion.

I am still very sad. I am ok when I am around others or working on something. But when I am alone, the tears come back ... mostly on my drives to & from work & during my shower just before bed. I am really trying hard not to think of what might have been. I have to push those thoughts away because there is no need in thinking them because nothing will change the fact that she's gone & certain things will never be.

POEM of LIFE (Author unknown)

Life is but a stopping place,

A pause in what's to be,

A resting place along the road,

To sweet eternity.

We all have different journeys,

Different paths along the way.

We all were meant to learn some things,

But never meant to stay..

Our destination is a place,
Far greater than we know.
For some the journey's quicker,
For some the journey's slow.

And when the journey finally ends,
We'll claim a great reward,
And find an everlasting peace,
Together with the Lord.

Update: I heard my sister laugh, however brief, this past weekend. Also, my younger niece requested that Brooke's husband & one of his best friends go to church w/her on Sunday. She picked them up & they had lunch afterwards. Life does go on, no matter how painful.

I am so sad

And, hate to bring all this sadness to you all. But I am hurting....

My oldest niece, Brooke, died in an ATV accident last night.

She smiled her ENTIRE life. She was beautiful, smart & a happy person with her whole being.

I think God made a mistake.....