Or, as Greg keeps calling it .... the million dollar 1/2 mile. It feels like we've spent that much, but not quite.
For those that don't know the story, our Country House is located on about 9 acres of a 50 acre plot. The back 1/2 of the plot is where the 4 acre spring fed pond is and it's where my Dad has his house & we have ours, on each side of the pond. So,we are at the back left of the plot if you come in from the front side where my Dad's driveway is. If we were to drive that way each time it meant coming up the meandering drive then driving over the pond dam & then up the hill (relatively speaking) to our house. It's a long bumpy 2/3 mile drive. There are many low spots along the way to get stuck if it has been raining any length of time. Which is exactly what it has been doing the past 2 months & we've gotten stuck a couple of times due to having heavy loads on our trailer. We would have to call someone, usually one of my many cousins in the area, they would have to come & get my Dad's tractor & pull us out. It . is . a . pain for us & them.
When we originally built the house my Dad's cousin, who has property adjacent to ours told us we could use his driveway to access our house. This meant that we could drive a clay road & go through his gate (rusty & not in very good shape & then through ours). That was fine as long as he had his gate open.
You see, this particular cousin is bi-polar & if his wife ever goes out of town he goes off his meds & does some really strange stuff. Much of the time it includes him closing that rusty gate & locking it so we couldn't get in that way. Plus, he never told us ahead of time that he was going to lock it. Probably because he was is la la land & couldn't find our phone # if his life depended on it. (Note: He's a rich old country boy that doesn't believe in technology & therefore doesn't have a cell phone or an answering machine). Early on, he agreed to letting us lock onto his lock so we could get in even if he wasn't available. Until, one day he decided he didn't want to do that because he didn't know what other folk WE might give our key to. And, he didn't want any old Tom, Dick or Mary to be able to drive across his field. Note: it's about 50 feet across this particular small field to get to our gate. It does open up to a 600 acre field but the gate to that field is locked so no one we invited to go to our house, without us couldn't get into that field.
We never knew what to expect when we drove up there, unless someone else happened to drive down that road & see that he had the gate locked & called to let us know to come in via my Dad's gate. We've been going up there for about 7 years now & he has locked us out 5 or 6 times during that time. He always says, just give him a call & he'll come unlock the gate IF we absolutely needed to come in that way. You see, he's also a bit of a control freak. He likes it when one is indebted to him & likes to hold people by the short hairs. Well, we don't like to be held by those hairs or reliant on anyone but ourselves, so this always got under our skin. Plus, he was just NOT a likable kind of person.
In January of this year, we agreed to have Greg's Mom & Dad move their vacation trailer to the property & started moving buildings (a small trailer, a cookout room & a utility building). We got the trailer moved & that is when bi-polar cousin (we'll just him BPC from now on) went off his meds again. Greg's parents had just gotten the septic installed & were waiting on the electric company to come. They decided to head to town for a few supplies but since there were no clear markings by the road with our address (BPC wouldn't allow) they wrote the address on a piece of cardboard (4x10) & put it on a popsicle stick & propped it up on the fence between some wires that were holding the rusty gate to the fence. When they got back the stick with the address was thrown into our driveway. They didn't think anything of it but got the electric on & headed back to the city.
Note: We had introduced MIL & FIL to the crazy BPC earlier & he was ever so friendly at the time.
When they went back a few days later, guess what? Yep, the rusty gate was locked. They had a trailer full of stuff & there is nowhere to turn around & they didn't have a lock to my Dad's gate & had never come in to the property that way.
My in-laws are in their 80s & MIL gets upset & nervous when someone is stupid & FIL just gets mad. Regardless, we called a cousin to unlock my Dad's gate & they got in but were unsure of what they had done to piss the Ahole off. We assured them that it wasn't them, it was him. Sure enough we checked & BPC's wife had been out of town a few weeks & he was plainly OFF HIS MEDS again.
Note: A Bit of gossip here ...Turns out, his wife hadn't just gone out of town for awhile, she had finally had enough of him & had 'left' him. She's since gone "back to him", oh well.
This last time of him locking us out without warning was the final straw for us. Especially since it now involved him being stupid to 80 year old parents who did nothing to deserve it.
When my Dad deeded us the property, he did in fact deed an easement along with it. This easement runs along BPC's fence line straight up to our house. Why you ask, hadn't we already put in our own driveway? Well, the long & short of it was $$$. This driveway would need to come off a main road (paved - YEAH!) & through about 50 yards of a wooded branch area. It would take several culverts & lots of dirt plus the equipment & labor involved would be enormous, not to mention the cost. Plus, we only have weekends & if we did it ourselves, we estimated it would take about 6 months to complete & completely consume our time & probably a lot of other people's time too.
We had been saving our hard earned $$$ to build a barn/summer kitchen but decided to go ahead & have a driveway put in instead.
We got a friend of the family to do the work, with the right equipment & then it started raining ....
14 comments:
omg...crazy family--everybody's got some. And honey I know allllll about the family drama crap...ugh! I am sorry you gotta forgone the barn for the driveway but at least no more aggravation from BPC--I hope anyway)
oh poor sweet DFW - i hear your pain. thank goodness we have very little crazy family...but that's because we have very little family. when we first bought our Manor and on our first trip here...we met a guy at the beach who was a heavy equipment operator. we met him and his wife for 2 days at the beach and promptly left them the keys to the Manor while we left and went back 1,000 miles away. he promised he would grade our driveway and build us a road to our river. which he promptly did 2 months later. that road to the river was 1,000ft of virgin forest and although he only charged us for the cost of the equipment rental...you can understand that about $15,000 grand was what it cost. ouch! and we could have used that money to build an extension on this crap-ass cottage, build a garage and proper workroom for jambaloney and a million other things.
however, having easy access to our river...where we can swim and suntan naked without anyone ever bothering us...well, that was the best $15,000 grand we have ever spent!
having access to your land without having to worry about BPC, your poor Dad and your cousins...trust me - it will be worth every single cent. and all of the other outbuildings and whatnot can wait. just being able to get to your land stress-free...i promise it will be priceless.
thanks so much for the update and be sure to keep us informed of all the crazy doings at your "retirement place". how many days now?
your friend,
kymber
DFW - I feel your pain. We have a communal sand road (5kms long) which is in a sad state of repair - potholes everywhere, which beconing great muddy ponds in the rainy season. We have tried, with the help of our friendly digger / loader to patch the worst areas, but although it helps, it is not a satisfactory long-term solution.
If only we could get the town council to recognise our need and for their roads department to come and do what they are supposed to do, and what we pay our taxes for...
Just may be the best money you ever spent! Wishing pleasant weather for this project and that is completed quickly!
Hang in there, I understand the frustration when it comes to family. Unfortunatley they are one of a few things we can not control in this world; death, taxes and family. Can't wait to see the final road. You'll be so glad you finally got it taken care of.
Tonya,
We've got more than our fair share on both sides of both of our families ;~)
Thanks kymber,
Even though it was a boatload of $$ I feel so much better & have peace of mind knowing I don't have to worry about getting 'in'.
I have 2 years 1 month & 2 days left!
Dani,
Funny thing is, we live on a dirt road in the City as well but it's private & we have to maintain it ourselves.
Thanks Melanie! It is actually finally complete, except for the gate. I'll post pictures this week. Too tired last night.
Thanks for the support Izzy!
What a story. So many families are messed up but I have to say, you've got a doozy of a dad's cousin. A driveway is an expensive project, but it will be worth it.
DFW,
Oh my......take a deep breath, I so feel your pain. Like many of your fellow blogger friends, we all have family member a little of their rocker. In the end, having your own driveway will pay for itself and be worth it.
Leigh,
That's a good word to describe him, he is definitely a doozy! The driveway will be well worth it.
Sandy,
It is already worth it to not have to deal with him on a visit. Thank you my friend.
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