Reflexion on Southern Funerals

Well, not just southern ones but primarily rural ones. I've been to plenty in the south rural areas. And, to a few out of state:

North Carolina .... MIL family members. But, those were also rural & I consider NC a southern state.

Chicago ... 3 close relatives. But, there were no processions to any of them as they were all cremated.

Pennsylvania ... A very close friend who happened to have also been my boss for 13 years. He was also cremated but the family had decided to bury his ashes in the same plot as his mother who had passed many years ago. 

I had lived through the births of his two beautiful children, his ugly divorce & his new found love (of his life). His new found love & I flew to PA for the funeral. She had also been through a terrible divorce & considered herself to be the luckiest person in the world to have found my friend. And, I agreed & believed they were meant to be together, unfortunatly that wasn't the case. I was in such a fog at that funeral that I noticed very little detail of the actual ceremonies or local customs so I don't know if rural PA shows the same respect that I have come to expect from my southern neighbors.

I went to a funeral of an Uncle today near our Country House. He had been married to my Dads sister, my Aunt, many years. She passed around 5 years ago. They had 2 very handsome & nice sons & beautiful grandchildren. He had heart problems & underwent open heart surgery last week & never recovered. He had met a new 'lady' friend recently.

What stuck with me was that the sons, who had to bury their last parent today, had accepted this lady as part of their & their Dads lives, even so 'soon' after their Mothers death. She was an active part of the rituals & they helped her, even through their own emotions, get through the day.

The pastor didn't even 'preach' to us too much. He just mentioned that we should each do our own 'due diligence' quoted from the book of Timothy I think. (I had actually forgotten that there was a book of Timothy - shame on me.) I thought this was appropriate, rather than the fire & brimstone that is sometimes forced upon those in attendance.

However, the thing that always strikes me, is the respect that rural people give to the dearly departed. Or, at least to the dearly departed family & friends attending the services.

In every rural funeral I have attended, the strangers coming in contact with the funeral procession to the graveyard, always pull to the side of the road, many with their flashers flashing. This happens no matter how long the procession is.

They are farm workers, with a lot to get done before the end of their day. Delivery drivers that are surely on a deadline. Mothers trying to get their kids to some appointment. Some people heading to lunch & some heading home. But, they always stop & pay their respects until the procession has passed. It's usually no more than 10 to 20 minutes. 10 or 20 minutes to some, is a lifetime, or so they think.

There were only about 75 cars in today's procession but not even one strangers car tried to continue on their way.

Yes, my husband & I have come across processions, and yes, we groan if we don't know who it is. But, we always stop until it is finished, out of respect. That's what we were taught to do.

Unfortunately, this doesn't happen in cities. Yes, I understand the logistics of highways & interstates. But, I don't understand the need for speed at times like this. Even on the side streets in cities, it is rare that people stop to pay their respects.

I've been to rural services with over 200 cars & still the strangers stay stopped.

For some reason, that small show of respect brings fresh tears to my eyes. And, proud to be a southern rural person who pays my own respect when necessary.